The Big C

A journey through Stage Four Cancer

Epic Mood Changes

on December 29, 2012

   First off, I’m a person who barely makes it through the dreary winters.  I need sunshine, not this constant grayness of sky and browness of the grass.

    So i’m sure some of my mood changes has a lot to do with the general depression of winter.  And may-be some of it has to do with the medicine I was just on.  And maybe some of it is my realization of my life.  That it isn’t ever going to go back to what it was.  Iwon’t be standing for any amount of time,not cooking dinners, not washing dishes. Not driving, not driving my kids to activities or sales that we used to enjoy going to together, particularly to the Christmas luncheon held at the local church.

       No one has written about having cancer stage 4, which is why I am doing it, but I imagine that is part of the disease, realizing parts of your life are over and gone and not coming back, ever.  And crying, because you aren’t ready to give those things up yet.

       But my husband comforted me with the words “We’re damn happy to have you, in any condition, because we have you with us.”

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