The Big C

A journey through Stage Four Cancer


on June 10, 2012

Perhaps it’s because the pain in my groin has spread up to my lower left spine, or perhaps it’s because the pain has gotten worse, or it could be because I wrote a lens for Squidoo entitled “Cancer of the Colon” that I made a knee jerk decision and subscribed to a “newsletter”, notice the quotes, that arrived in my inbox at the most opportune time to hook me.  It promised to defeat cancer.  It promised a free newsletter.  I’m awake at 2:30 in the morning because of a burning sensation I get in my upper left thigh every day in the early morning now, what do I have to loose?


The letter was full of teasers.  What food does Bill Clinton eat that the rest of America throws away and probably protects him from getting cancer?  What ingredient both flavors cakes, eases pain and fights cancer?  Is your system acidic?  This ingredient blasts cancer cells with oxygen and kills them instantly.

What were any of these ingredients?  Not in the e-mail, although a few I could guess at, and one I looked up on the web with a simple Google search.

The newsletter came soon after.  It too was full of teasers, but no information unless I bought the book.  Or rather books, because within a day or so of becoming a subscriber I had received two more e-mails.  One offered me a money back guarantee, even if I used their advice and was cured of cancer.  If I wanted my money back, I could have it.

The one therapy that really caught my interest ended up being cesium, but not the radioactive kind.  However, over and over I was warned not to try this therapy without being under a doctors supervision.  On later pages it was stated that no doctor would put his neck out for this therapy, when they are all tied into big Pharmacy and chemotherapy.  So where was my doctor supervision supposed to come from?

Then I tried to even find cesium.  Impossible.  But it did keep me busy for a while and kept my mind off the burning and sharp needle stab in my leg for a while.

But it made me depressed too.  After doing some very preliminary research for my lens on Squidoo, I was reminded again that stage four colon cancer is in most cases terminal.  Even those with stage three colon cancer don’t fare very well.  And here I was chasing around for a cure, again.

There are so many cures available.  Caring friends who are scared to death for me, have told me about Cancer Centers of America, a really promising sounding clinic in Texas, whole fruits and vegetables, different supplements that cost about $100 a bottle.  I even tried a regimen that was in Suzanne Sommers “Knockout” book, but cancer has made my stomach very sensitive, and I ended up not being able to tolerate the supplements.  The lists of food I can tolerate has decreased too.

Maybe someday, modern medicine will use apricot pits, cesium and aloe, anise(?), turmeric, and mushrooms and actually cure people.

Will it happen in my 2 1/2 year window of opportunity? Doubtful.

So what is the take away lesson for today?  I guess to know myself.  To realize that I am desperate for a cure, and that makes me vulnerable.  And when you are vulnerable, there is always someone there to take advantage of it.Image


2 responses to “Perhaps

  1. Janel says:

    I wish there was something I could say or something I could do to help you, unfortunately I am helpless. I will continue to pray for you…

    Why Suffering?

    Accidents, illness, disease, age often bring suffering we cannot explain.

    Even Jesus Christ did not explain the mystery of suffering. He tried simply to relieve it where he could. And as his life ended, he took it on himself.

    Jesus taught not to give in to sickness, but to fight to regain health. At the same time, he showed what indirect blessings sickness sometimes brings.

    What blessings can sickness bring? It reminds us how dependent we are on others, and above all on God for life!

    It makes us see how precious life is.

    It invites us to believe, to call for God’s help, to accept God’s way, and to grow in confidence that whatever lies ahead, all will be well.

    Blessings always to you my friend…Janel
    Oh Holy Spirit,
    Giver of life,
    Helper and Friend,
    Source of all good gifts,
    Bring peace and comfort to me.

    • The Big C says:

      Thank-you Janel! I usually can handle things pretty well, but I’ve found that when I am either bombarded by cancer center ads, or do some research on cancer, it opens up my wounds again for a while. Also, I’ve found that my cancer journey ebbs and flows. Most days, I can just live life, even though now it’s a much different life than it was in 09. But then, something will remind me of my cancer – like doing the research I have just done, for instance, and I have to learn to deal with my cancer and it’s outcome again. It seems to me each time, it gets easier. Thank-you for your prayers. Facebook


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